All Good Things Must End

This is Ursula's third song in workshop of the stage musical, a gloating number as she (prematurely) celebrates her victory over Ariel. It didn't end up in the final version of the musical, but even so I can't quite tell where it was originally meant to be placed in the story. Personally, I'm guessing that it was supposed to be sung by Vanessa before the wedding sequence. It's worth noting that this is a very different sort of gloating from the version in the movie that was all about loud, unstoppable evil laughter bordering on insanity. In this version, Ursula is slightly more controlled, and she cackles with dark humour.

(printable lyrics)

Look at how you're fretting
Life's getting upsetting
Loverboy's departing
You're starting to cry
I guess your dreams ain't turning out so swell
My dear, well, my dear, here's why

All good things must end
Flowers fade, balloons deflate
And butterflies disintegrate
And all good things must end
Puppies die and teeth decay
And lollipops are licked away

And oh
Jewels begin to lose their glow
Divas hear their last bravo
Even kings and queens eat crow

My dear, 'cause hey
Struggle though you may
The rules won't bend
All good things must

Gee, you're awfully mum, dear
So glum dear, how come, dear?
Better just embrace it
'Cause face it, you're through
And if perhaps things didn't go your way
My dear, hey, my dear, boo hoo!

See you in church, doll.

All good things must end
Beauty queens get old and fat
And wrinkle up, and that is that
No one bucks the trend
Every handsome Romeo
Gets bald on top and soft below
And soon every plum becomes a prune
Cities go to rack and ruin
Nothing in the world's immune

And as for love
All of the above applies, my friend
All good things
They come with strings

Yes, all good things must end
Pricey wine and fine champagne
Are flushed together down the drain
And as the fates intend
Parties dwindle down
'Til you're unconscious on the bathroom floor

And you, you've reached the end now, too
Everybody's bill comes due
Funny how the time just flew

My sweet and gee
Sad as it may be
Well, why pretend?
For all good things
The fat chick sings
And curtains soon descend
And you, poor thing
You've had your fling
But all good things must


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